The Worry Jar is a technique for people, especially children, who suffer from worry and anxiety. It helps kids identify, name and release their worries.
It shouldn't be a surprise to anyone who knows me to find out that I am a chronic worrier.
I have been since I was little.
The dentist was something that I [along with tons of other kids] dreaded and the reason was mostly because I didn't want the dentist to pull any of my loose teeth out. I pulled all my own teeth out [except 1 that my teacher tricked me into pulling out for me], and I didn't want the dentist to take over.
This fear of the dentist, coupled with my worrying, created a horrible combination that started in about June of each summer, and lasted until my August dental appointment. I would worry constantly, and this would hinder the enjoyment of the main two months of my summer!
Looking back decades later, I'm obviously annoyed at myself for letting anything get in the way of my summers. But back then, I was really traumatized.
One year, my mom had a brilliant idea. I doubt she made it up herself; maybe she read about it or heard it on Oprah. Who knows... but the advice was brilliant.
The Worry Jar was born.
Jump to:
What is a Worry Jar?
The concept of a worry jar is simple: it's a place to write out and physically put your worries.
I've also heard it called "A God Box" in recent years, but the concept is the same.
How Does it Work?
There is something therapeutic about writing down what you are worried about.
It feels like you can grab hold of the worry that is swirling in your head and making you anxious when you write it down on a piece of paper.
Then, the act of putting it into the jar symbolizes releasing it and letting it go.
You might still worry; the worry jar isn't magic. But it seems to help calm the anxiety storm when you write them out and put them inside.
"I'm worried about this thing. I'm putting it in the jar, so it doesn't have to swirl around incessantly inside my head anymore."
The Two Outcomes of Your Worries
The worry jar also lets you come back at a later time and see that most of what you worry about has one of two outcomes:
- Whatever you were worried about never happened.
- Whatever you were worried about did happen and you got through it.
Despite the outcome, it is empowering to see old worries and be able to throw them away because they are no longer relevant.
Supplies Needed
- Container to Hold Worries - You could use a simple clear mason jar, a blue tinted glass jar or blue glass container, or a wooden box with a lid.
- Paper - Any paper will work. You will be cutting it up into small pieces.
- Scissors - To cut the paper into small strips for your worries.
- Pen - To write your worries down on the paper with.
How To Make a Worry Jar
Step 1. Cut paper into small strips.
Step 2. Write your worries down on the little pieces of paper.
Step 3. Fold up the pieces of paper containing your worries, and put them into a jar or container. (This is your Worry Jar.)
Step 4. Come back later and look through your worries.
(Don't come back 10 minutes later. I'm talking more like a week or a month later, depending on the nature of your worries.)
Step 5. Chances are there will be several slips of paper containing worries that either never happened or worked themselves out.
You can rip these up and throw them away!
Step 6. Repeat with any new worries as they come up.
This worked for me on so many things over the years.
Things from:
- "I'm worried about my math test."
- "I'm worried about dancing at State."
- "I'm worried I'll never get a boyfriend." (Yes, that one graced my worry jar once or ten times.)
- "I'm worried about getting into the Nursing program."
- "I'm worried about Matt going to Iraq."
There are still pieces of paper in my worry jar, and I'm curious to see what I can rip up when I check it next.
Common Questions
You can use any type of container, jar, box, or basket for your worries - it does not matter at all. I used a padded gift box for my worries as a kid, because that's what I happened to have nearby when I first tried it.
You could use a simple clear mason jar, a blue tinted glass jar or blue glass container, or a wooden box with a lid.
You could also get a wooden or cardboard box and use Mod Podge to decorate the outside with photos of family or anything that is meaningful to you.
You can add ribbon or twine to the mouth of your worry jar to make it unique or paint or stain your wooden box to customize it. You can also add a Worry Jar tag or label to the jar or box if you'd like.
The "magic" of the worry jar works for kids and adults alike. It can be especially helpful for children because they lack some of the other coping skills adults learn as they get older.
But I'm an adult and still find my worry jar helpful! So, don't discount the therapeutic benefit of the worry jar for adults too, especially if you're someone who has significant anxiety and worries a lot.
Some people use the same general concept of a worry jar, but called it "a God box". It is the same concept, except when you put the worries inside, you're turning them over to God to handle. This can be very helpful if you are of a faith that aligns with this. You can also view it as the Universe handling whatever you are worried about, or whatever feels right to you.
The bottom line is the same - you are writing out worries and putting them in the box.
If you at worried about things that will either immediately come to a head or sort themselves out (I'm worried about Friday's test or meeting etc), you could look back more frequently because the "threat" will be over. If you are worried about more long-term issues (I'm worried about my sore knee or the marathon in 3 months), you will want to wait longer before revisiting your worries.
Generally, what happens is life happens and you will forget about the worry jar for a while. Then, one day you'll remember it, and think "Oh! I should look through my worries again!"
Let yourself be pleasantly surprised by all the worries that are no longer relevant or have worked themselves out.
This perspective shift is one major purpose of the worry jar.
There is something therapeutic about writing down your worries and visually confirming them.
Writing them down doesn't necessarily make them go away, but it seems like by writing them down, you take them from your mind and put them on the paper, where they seem to haunt or taunt you less.
At least that's how it works for me. (I will probably have my worry jar in use forever.)
Give it a try if you are prone to excessive worrying like me.
Even if you are a casual worrier, it can help ease the stress and anxiety in your heart and mind about whatever is causing you to worry.
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The Worry Jar
Materials
- Container to Hold Worries
- Paper
- Scissors
- Pen
Instructions
- Cut paper into small strips.
- Write your worries down on the little pieces of paper.
- Fold up the pieces of paper containing your worries, and put them into a jar or container. (This is your Worry Jar.)
- Come back later and look through your worries.(Don't come back 10 minutes later. I'm talking more like a week or a month later, depending on the nature of your worries.)
- Chances are there will be several slips of paper containing worries that either never happened or worked themselves out.You can rip these up and throw them away!
- Repeat with any new worries as they come up.
Notes
- You can use any type of container as a worry jar. Consider a glass jar, wooden box, basket, mug, or other special container.
- You can embellish your worry jar by adding a ribbon or twine bow around the neck of a jar, or painting a wooden box. You could use Mod Podge to cover a box or jar with photos.
- Use the urgency of your worries to dictate how long you wait before you come back to revisit your worries. If your current anxiety triggers have an upcoming deadline (like a test, meeting, or race) you can revisit those worries after that deadline has passed. Otherwise, give your worries more time before you revisit them.
Dhaval J Gandhi
Adult adhd what is your advice ? Recently dignosed Adult adhd at the age of 55
Laura
Hi there - thanks for reading and commenting. I have no experience or credentials to give you advice, so I highly recommend seeking the help from a professional who you can talk to and who can guide you accurately. But I do think the worry jar, and writing your thoughts and worries down in a journal can be powerful exercises to help calm your mind. I'm praying for you as you get used to this new diagnosis and figure out what that means for you.
Kimberly Hammonds
This is a great idea. I'm definitely going to use it.
Robyn
such a feeling of validation when one of the rules said "make room for more worries"
I mean I worry, but a realist as well.
Laura Radniecki
Hi Robyn!
Yes, I think it's futile to think that we can stop ourselves from worrying completely.
Really, it's about managing them the best we can.
From one worrier to another, I empathize!
Laura
stainbrooks
This is so true Laura! I worry like nobody's business, and usually when I worry it escalates the problem. When we write down the worries though I think it gives a reality check as well, like maybe in my mind I was making it into a bigger deal than it should've been. I find it so hard sometimes to let God take those worries though, I'm a control freak and love feeling the "control" over my worries. But I love that quote worry about nothing pray about everything, because in reality God is the only one that can really handle or control all those worries 🙂 Great post and a great reminder!