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I learned an important lesson this year.
Or, I guess I should say I am still learning this lesson.
I’m a type A perfectionist, and I like to control my life. I like to control my actions and the resulting outcomes. I like to have a backup plan and I like to know what the worse case scenario is. It helps me function.
Running a business requires action and control. It requires planning and executing that plan. Sometimes though, I can’t quite control the outcomes as much as I would like to. I wish I could do more or change things, and instead, I can’t really because some things are out of my control.
The last 6 months have found me fighting with the control freak inside me, trying to make things happen one way when they were turning out another way. I was struggling with myself, and worrying about things that I have no control over.
Then, one day, I realized that I was going about it all wrong. I was trying to control things that I couldn’t, and I was putting all the focus on me. What I wanted, what I was doing, what I was trying to accomplish.
Instead of where the focus should be. On God. On the One who gives me every bit of success in my business. Who helped me to define and to cultivate my photographic talent and to turn that into a business. Who directs clients my way and provides me with a business that supports me in my life and my dreams.
So I started to really try to let go of my worries, my expectations, and my longing for control. And I turned it over to God. I laid it at His feet. I prayed for trust and acceptance, that I could trust and accept His plan for me and for my business. I stopped worrying. I began to act without fear and to make decisions without constantly second-guessing myself and wondering if there was a better way.
And since then, I have been blessed. I have been blessed in countless ways. It is as if He was just waiting for me to turn it over so He could show me, “Yes, this is what I want for you, Laura. This is what will happen if you simply trust me.”
It’s hard for me to relinquish control. As a type A perfectionist, it is extremely hard. I have to constantly remind myself that I can let go, that I have to let go. It’s a learning process and one I am working on daily. But the peace, sense of calm, and the blessings that have resulted from it encourage me and remind me that it is right.
I am letting go and letting God.